Mindless Post!

What's so special about what you're wearing?

um well....it's my pajamas

Ever felt like you're not good enough?
A LOT lately!

What is something that you realized today?
that I'm not going to let this person get to me anymore!!! so don't try!

Do you think anyone has feelings for you?
nope :(

Do you miss anyone?
I do....do they miss me...obviously not!

Who's the last person you got in a yelling fight with?
I don't think I've ever gotten in a yelling fight with anyone except my family

Have you ever walked on the beach at night?
I have and it's one of my favorite things to do!

You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life, what is it?
diet dr pepper

Are you anything like you were at this point last year?
some parts yes and some parts no

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
yes and I hate it!

When's the last time you talked with the opposite sex on the phone?
some guy at work today

Do you think you are a good person?
I like to think so

Do you miss the way things used to be?
there are parts that I miss a lot and then there are some parts that you couldn't pay me to go back through again!

Have you held hands with anyone in the past 24 hours?
nope

Are you a patient person?
um NO...have you met me

Anything you would change about your life right now?
that I could honestly be done!

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
a few hours ago

Do you think two people can last forever?
I do but it won't be easy....every relationship is hard work

How's your heart lately?
feels like its been stomped on

When was the last time you cried?
today

Think a lot before you fall asleep?
holy crap!  I have to take medicine for that!

Who would be the first person to know if you got pregnant?
Allison and boy that would be a shocker

Is there one person that you'll always have feelings for?
I hope not....

Were you happy when you woke up today?
I was and then the day started

Do you keep a planner?
yup

Who called you first this morning?
Allison

Your best/closest friend is pregnant - you say?
SHUT UP!  What the crap did Michael say....

Have you ever been asked out by someone you didn't want to date?
um yes

Where is your phone?
in front of me

What are you excited for?
getting to sleep in tomorrow

Have you ever kissed someone starting with a J?
I have

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Gran and I KNOW she meant it!

Do you think you'll have the same best friend a year from now?
I hope so!!!

What would you name your future daughter?
Riley

Who was the last person you rode in the car with that was under 21?
Evan and Noah

How do you feel right now?
tired

Are you mad at anyone right now?
not mad....just hurt

Would you like receiving flowers or do you think that's tacky?
I LOVE IT!!!!

What pisses you off a whole lot?
not knowing!

How have you felt today?
blah

Do you have any plans for tomorrow?
grocery shopping!  fun times!

Are you waiting on anything?
a husband....

The Five Love Languages

So I have always always wanted to read Gary Chapman's "The Five Love Languages".  I've been curious as to what my love language would be.  I came across the website in some crazy weird way and there was a 30 second assessment test.  So I thought...hm I've got 30 seconds.  Then that one wasn't good enough so I googled t and I found a quiz.  Do you remember when you were younger and you would do the quizzes in YM?  That is completely what it reminded me of.  So anyways after it was all said and done the 30 second one gave me the same results that the one that took me 15 minutes gave.  I completely 100% agree with the results too.  It says that my main love language is "words of affirmation".  I feel like someone appreciates me so much more when they tell me.  If I do something nice for someone I want them to tell me they appreciated or I'll dwell on it forever thinking that they didn't like it.  I love doing nice things for people!  I think it's because I love when people do sweet things for me!  For example, it was either Monday or Tuesday of last week I got a note in my mailbox at work from a girl in my small group.  I had a super super crappy week and that little note meant more to me than anything.  She didn't know anything that was going on but she did it just to let me know she had been thinking about me.  She doesn't work at my office so she had to get in her car and come over there just to give that to me.  I love that kind of stuff!  It makes me feel special!  So here is a little explanation of what the website says about "us" people!  Maybe this will help you when dealing with me! :)

Words of Affirmation
Mark Twain once said “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”  Verbal appreciation speaks powerfully to persons whose primary Love Language is “Words of Affirmation.”  Simple statements, such as, “You look great in that suit,” or “You must be the best baker in the world! I love your oatmeal cookies,” are sometimes all a person needs to hear to feel loved. Aside from verbal compliments, another way to communicate through “Words of Affirmation” is to offer encouragement.  Here are some examples: reinforcing a difficult decision; calling attention to progress made on a current project; acknowledging a person’s unique perspective on an important topic. If a loved one listens for “Words of Affirmation,” offering encouragement will help him or her to overcome insecurities and develop greater confidence.

Baby Noah is 2!

Geez it seems like yesterday this picture was taken!  I never ever thought that I would love this new baby nearly as much as I loved Evan.  Evan wrapped me around his finger so fast it wasn't even funny.  Well just as fast as Evan got wrapped around my finger so did baby Noah.  Last weekend I went over to East Tennessee for Noah's birthday party.  I am so blessed to be so close to them that I can drive over there for the weekend.  I wouldn't have missed his big 2nd birthday for the world.  Having Evan and Noah r

unning down the driveway yelling MiMi was worth every single second of that 4 and a half hour drive!  Here's picture 2 years later.....

What If...

Well I achieved the one and only goal I had for this weekend....not to leave my house at all!  I think that was a good and a bad thing.  Good thing because I really needed to do nothing!  Bad thing because I had too much time with just me and my mind! :)  

One thing that I discovered is that I am sick and tired of letting other people determine my mood. If someone has hurt me or upset me I shouldn't let that get me so down.  But I do!  I had a really really rough week last week.  One of the many things that happened was that my step mother called just to "check in".   When she does that it pisses me off more than anyone could even understand.  Luckily I didn't answer the phone.  I sat there and listened to my grandmother talk to her.  I get mad because I feel like she's giving her too much information but I know she can't help it.  Then at one point Gran says...no she's not married yet.  SERIOUSLY they don't even know if I'm married!  That is so sad to me!   I would love for my dad to be a part of my life but that will NEVER happen until she is out of his.  I know someone that has their dad around can't understand anyone being so hard on their own father.  But I have "done" my life this far without him I don't need him now! 

So on our trip down to Florida Allison started watching "Friday Night Lights".  We really were only able to watch about 3 episodes of it.  But that was enough for me, I was hooked!  I had to come home and sign up for Netflix again.  That is ALL I have done this weekend!  It is a stupid show but it has really gotten me thinking about the what ifs of my life.  Some of them pretty dumb but still what if....I never went to Centennial my sophomore year (Allison and I would have probably never become friends) and the really big one that I haven't been able to stop thinking about....what if we had never moved to Florida?  Where would I be right now?  Would I be married and have kids? (probably not) Then I think about if I had stayed in Florida.  I can't even begin to think about that one because that makes my head hurt.  I don't know if I'm thinking about all this because this show is about high school and I wonder how things would be if I had done it all different.  I don't think I would change anything....I'm lying I do think I would change things.  I've had way too many relationships that are one sided.  Me being the one that is constantly trying to work on things.  I lost one of my very best friends this way because I was sick of being on a one way street! It's not fair for one person to be doing all the work.  And sad to say I'm always that person! Relationships aren't easy!  I don't care if it's a boyfriend or girlfriend, a husband or wife, or a REALLY good friend.  They're all hard work!  And it's not fair for only one person to be working at it!  I pray I don't lose anymore friends this way but I'm not doing it anymore.  

BLAH!  With all that being said I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow!  At least that gives me a lot of distractions!   

SO BUSY!!!

So did you guys think I was never going to update this thing again?  Well I have thought about it everyday since I got back from Florida.  So much has been going on!  Let's see if I can remember everything.....

Florida was a BLAST!  It was so good just to get away from normal life for awhile!  We went to the beach a few days and the boys loved it!  Allison and I went to see Britney Spears and it was AWESOME!!!  I splurged and got really really good seats and I'm so glad I did!  We went to Disney World one day!  So much fun!!! Hung out with Allison's family alot, pretty much they're my family too!  I was able to go to one of Logan's games....I say go because as soon as we got there they pulled him out of the game because they were killing the other team.  So I didn't actually get to see him play but it was alot of fun hanging with the Dan's.  One night we got together with a bunch of our friends for dinner.  The whole thing was awesome awesome awesome!  I really miss living there!

So this past Friday I went over to Allison's for the weekend.  On Friday I met her, the boys, Anna, Brooke, and Aiden over in Gatlinburg and spent the night.  Our plan was to get up and go to one of the indoor water parks there.  Well we did but only for about an hour because it was FREEZING!  The water was super warm but the air was so cold.  The boys lips were blue they were so cold.  So Allison got our money back and we went to the outlet mall.  More my speed anyway!  Friday afternoon we went back to Kingsport and hung out the rest of the weekend.  

Now it's Monday.... I can't believe that its only been a week since we got back from Florida!  It feels like it was atleast a month ago!  Well gotta go to bed because I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep!  Here on some pictures from Florida.....

FLORIDA!

I have been waiting for this day for WEEKS! I can't believe it's finally here! My bags are packed and loaded in the car. I'm just waiting for 4:30 so I can get on the road! I'm meeting Allison, Anna, and the boys in Chattanooga. Then it's straight to Bradenton!!! Holy cow I think this is going to be the longest day ever! I'll try and update...if I have time! :) I hope I come home.....

The Hair

OK so I was BEYOND excited about getting my hair cut today.  Then about 30 minutes before my appointment I decided I was going to go completely crazy and go dark again with my crazy cute cut.  WELL it's a good thing I decided to go dark because that's about the only difference.  I'm so mad!  I wanted it to be alot shorter than it is!  Oh well there's nothing I can really do now.  It's still cute just not what I wanted!  I love the color so I'm really glad I decided to do that.  

I'm getting ready to leave for Florida on Friday for 8 whole days!!!  You know when you get to that point and you say I need a vacation?  I was there about a month ago.  I did go down to Florida about a month ago but that was just for the weekend.  It flew by!  So I'm really looking forward to being down there for longer than 2 days.  We have alot of fun stuff already planned...BRITNEY SPEARS on Sunday, Disney on Tuesday, and we're going to see our good friend Melanie in a play on Wednesday night.  You can make fun of me for my love for Britney Spears and that's ok because I can take it.  I'm a fan till the end and I love her! 

I'm not looking forward to our drive down to Florida.  It's going to be 10 hours in a car with a 2 and 3 year old.  Holy Cow!  I offered to read Twilight to Allison all the way down there.  She said no...why not....I don't get it?  :)  I'm super excited to be with Evan and Noah for awhile too.  They seriously crack me up!  But I also joke and say that being around them is BY FAR the best birth control out there.  Not that I'm looking for a good birth control but you know what I mean.  

Well I'm going to go to bed.  I feel like I'm getting a sore throat and there will be none of that.  Got it!

My BFF

I just want to see if I could put a picture on here!  Now I know I can so I'm going to be adding them ALL the time!  I'll put up a for real post later on in the day, since it is 4am.  I hate insomnia!  Thanks to everyone that gave me their opinion on my hair.  I go on Tuesday so I'll let you know. NO I'll post a picture of it!  Genius! 

Answer...

OK so my last post I asked a very important question. Might not be important to you but I NEED your opinion! I only got 2 comments and I know more than 2 people read my blog. Well I know of atleast 3 people that read it. :) Answer me....short or long!!!!

I'm Better!!!

Well this past week has been something else!  I'll give you a brief rundown!  Well remember when I had to go through all that crazy blood work?  I got the results back and the doctor told me that I was a "pre" diabetic or insulin resistant.  I got this super cute little blood checker, I still don't know the technical word for the stupid little thing.  I had to check it first thing in the morning and two hours after dinner.  I had these certain numbers that I needed to get within to be good.  She gave me the choice to try and fix it myself with diet and exercise or go on some medicine.  So I decided on choice number 1.  After the first week I got frustrated and thought that since I was dieting and exercising the numbers should be changing.  I mean seriously I had lost 13 pounds, they should have been doing something.  So I gave up and called the doctor and said just put me on the medicine.  I'm all about a "quick" fix!  Well little did I know that was going to be a complete disaster! With this medicine you have to build up adding 1 pill a week until you're taking freaking 4 pills a day.  Week 1 was fine.  But the day that I took 2 pills everything went completely downhill and I mean fast.  The first day I just thought that I was having a bad day.  Then day 2 happened and I couldn't hardly open my mouth without crying.  I had to go home early from work and was out the next day too.  The more I read about it the more it made sense.  My body was trying to get my sugar levels under control while in turn sending me WAY out of control!  This happened to me a few years ago but I had completely forgotten about it.  So I immediately stopped taking the medicine and I'm going back to doing it the right way.  I'm sure everyone I was around was like seriously what the crap is wrong with her.  And listen if you felt that way please keep it to yourself!  Great news is that I'm feeling completely normal again and I can have a conversation with you and not cry!  Yay! :)

OK now to a much more serious question.....

I'm thinking about chopping my hair off again!  I'm not talking above my ears or anything, just shorter.  I am trying to grow it out for summer so I can have a ponytail.  But the past couple of days I just feel blah!  I feel so sassy with shorter hair!  Tell me what you think....no promises that I'll listen but I'm still curious.  Cut it or grow it......

Happy Valentine's Day

You know Valentine's Day use to REALLY depress me when I didn't have a boyfriend.  But then about 4 years ago I did have a boyfriend and it was HORRIBLE!  It was exactly how I always "thought" Valentine's should be....a dozen red and white, gorgeous, long stem roses delivered to my work, we went out to a really nice restaurant for dinner, and he got me 3 other gifts...but I was miserable!  I actually broke up with him that night.  I'm really not a mean person it had just been building and it happened to all go down that night.  So since that year I could care less if I have a boyfriend on Valentine's Day.  And know I always love when it's getting close because there's always tons of pink things in every store!

I ended up coming to Allison's for the weekend.  I've been trying to come the past 3-4 weekends and it just never worked out.  Evan and Noah gave me 2 super cute PINK frames with our pictures in them.  And Evan told me about 15 times today...Happy Balentive's Mimi!  The sweetest thing!  

So things might not happen the picture perfect way but they'll be perfect for me!!!!

Too Long

Geez I didn't realize how long it had been since I last blogged.  And there was A LOT that went on this past week.  Well I officially had my first week of the biggest loser competition.  I had my first weigh in on Monday and I couldn't have been more excited for what the scales said....I lost 12.8 pounds!!!  I never ever ever would have thought that I would have lost that much.  I worked so hard and it felt really good!  

THEN on Wednesday I decided, very spur of the moment, to go to Florida for the weekend.  I had been wanting to go down for the past few months but the time was never right.  Allison and I had set a date to go down in March and I have been counting down the days.   I hadn't seen Jimmy in almost 2 years and it was killing me!  Then on Wednesday I got an email from him and I was like screw it I'm going down there this weekend.  Maybe Allison is right, that I will do anything for someone I care about!  But if you're one of my good friends...I'll be there for you through thick and thin!  The road isn't always going to be a smooth one but I'll hold your hand while we bump through it together!  

It was so nice to plan it that quick because I didn't have to be counting down the days until I left.  It was the best weekend!  It was so good to have things like they use to be for a few days.  We went to the outlet malls on Saturday with Melanie.  It was so good to get to hang out with her like old times too.  Jimmy and I didn't do alot....hung out, watched movies, and talked.  Then Logan and Lexie took me to the airport on Sunday....still scary to think that Logan can drive!   Well knowing that I'm for sure coming back the beginning of March made it a little bit easier to leave, not a ton but a little.  It was an awesome weekend but it made me miss the way things use to be even more.  I know that things wouldn't be the same if I still lived down there.  I wish that I could move those few that I still care a ton about up here to be with me.  That would be perfect! 

It seems like something else happened this past week but I can't think of it.  Oh I did start a bible study with a group of girls that I'm really excited about.  We met for the first time this past Wednesday.  I'm really excited to see where this all goes!

I'm going to go but I promise I won't wait as long to blog this next time!

Day 2

Day  2 and I have been able to stay on schedule!  Got up again at 5am and went to the gym!  I got in bed last night at 9pm to wind down and read.  The plan was to turn the lights out at 9:30pm but I couldn't put my book down until 10pm.  But I already feel SO much better!  Oh geez I had another vivid dream last night.  Don't worry Jimmy I'm not mad at you! :)  It was so weird!  

Have I told anybody recently that I'm SO ready to be in Florida?!?!?!  I can't wait to smell Tropicana!  I remember when I first moved down there that smell made me want to puke!  Now I wish so bad I could smell it every night again!   I miss being able to drive 5 minutes, or 15 after I moved out east, to get to the beach!  I think I miss that more than anything!  Oh and there are a few people that I miss more and more everyday too, you probably know if you are one of those lucky people! ;)  But only 5 weeks and counting!!!!  Allison and I and the boys are going to be there a super long time.  This is my longest visit that I've ever had there!  We're going to Disney World, Melanie's in a play that we're going to get to see, and the most important thing that we will do the entire time we're there.........seeing Britney Spears!!!!!!  Yes, that's right I love her!  She's coming back....just wait....you'll see!   I just hope that these next 5 weeks fly by!  Anyways I gotta finish getting ready for work!

The Biggest Loser!

OK well it officially starts today!  And so far it's going great! :)  I got up at 5am and went straight to the gym.  Came home and had breakfast....Special K wild berry waffles with two patties of turkey sausage.  The great news about that is that I could only eat one of the patties of turkey sausage!  I took a shower and got completely ready and packed my lunch all with 30 minutes to spare!  Seriously this has NEVER EVER happened!  But I'm loving it!  I'm not rushing around trying to get out the door.  Please please please pray that I will get/stay motivated to do this.  I kicked serious butt with it last year but I am slightly discouraged because I don't have my rock/drill sargent in my pod anymore....better known as Gretchen! :(  She made me a workout calendar and gave me stickers every time I worked out.  I knew if I didn't work out, holy crap I would get it!  So I'm going to have to motivate myself this time.  And if I was any good at that I wouldn't be where I am right now.  So if you read this I need you to constantly encourage me and if you can find a way to motivate me that would be awesome as well!  I did make myself a workout calendar and I'll be able to add a sticker first thing this morning! Yay! I just have to take it one day at a time and know that it's going to take time.  I know I can do it because I've lost the same weight about 3 times.  OK well I better get going! PRAY PRAY PRAY!!!! :)

The Call

I just had the phone call that I wasn't looking forward to after receiving the text message yesterday from Alissa that her mom had just passed away.  That seriously was one of the hardest things that I've had to do in a really long time.  I just didn't have any words to say.  All she kept saying were there no words to explain this.  So all I could do was just sit there and cry with her.  And maybe that's what she needed, I have no idea.  I felt like I was useless to her because I didn't feel like I was doing a very good job comforting her.  I know that the next few days are going to be really really hard on the family so please keep them in your prayers.  Please don't take granted the time you have with the people you care about.  I know that's sometimes very easy to do because I know that I'm very guilty of it.  And don't forget to tell them you love them because they might not be there the next time you try to tell them!  I know Alissa would give anything to be able to tell her mother that she loves her just one more time!  So with that said.....I love all of you!!! :)

Another one of those days....

Well AGAIN today was going great just like yesterday and then I got some very traumatic news! I'll get to that later on. I just hope nothing good happens tomorrow....

Well kinda I had a bunch of blood work done this morning and that was NOT fun at all!  I had drink this (pure) sugary drink and then sit in the waiting room for 2 hours!  The first hour went by REALLY slow, mainly because the room finally stopped spinning after that first hour.  Then the second hour wasn't so bad because I brought my Twilight book to read.  

Then I had my final night of the Dale Carnegie class.  For some reason it was very emotional for me.  I know for those of you that know me very well you're thinking...what isn't emotional for you.  But yeah I pretty much bawled through my entire last speak.  It began with our instructor introducing us to do our speak.  I just don't do well when someone says something nice about me. It makes me want to cry....so I did!  I don't know why the compliment thing is so hard for me, but it really hard for me!  So it's over now and I have a diploma to prove it!  It's going to go straight up in my pod at work.  But I have to get a new frame for mine because the one mine came in has goop all over the front of it!

I was so excited!  I got in the car to call Allison and I was going through my messages that I got while I was in class.  Then I saw that I had a text message from one of my best friends, Alissa.  The text said...."today at 5:30pm my momma took her last breathe peacefully in her own bed".  Then I lost it again!  I've been friends with her since kindergarten.  Her mom and my mom would dress up for halloween and go treat or treating with us.  God it breaks my heart!  I think what kills me the most is that Alissa and I are both always too busy and don't make time for each other.  I hate that so bad!  I really am going to put a huge effort into working on that.  I hate that I'm going to have to go my best friends mom funeral.  I had to a go to another best friends mom's funeral a few years ago and it just sucks!  We're way to young for this to be happening to us.  His mom had a bad wreck so it was completely unexpected.  

Steve, my Carnegie instructor read the lyrics to a Switchfood song and I'm going to put them below.  I think that it can mean something to anyone no matter where you're at in your life!

Dare You To Move

welcome to the planet

welcome to existence

everyone's here

everyone's here

everybody's watching you now

everybody waits for you now

what happens next?

what happens next?

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

like today never happened

today never happened before

welcome to the fallout

welcome to resistance

the tension is here

the tension is here

between who you are and who you could be

between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

maybe redemption has stories to tell

maybe forgiveness is right where you fell

where can you run to escape from yourself

where you gonna go?

where you gonna go?

salvation is here

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor

I dare you to move

I dare you to move

like today never happened

today never happened

today never happened

today never happened before

Memories

How is it that one stupid single thing can change your mood?  I was seriously having the best day...even the best week ever!  Then bam I turn the TV on and everything changed!  I was so excited for this week!  I'm graduating from Carnegie tomorrow night.  And I really am so proud of myself for taking this class, not that I had a huge choice in it, and for actually doing good in it.  I've won two awards as of right now....you never know I might win one more.  This thing was SO far out of my comfort zone it wasn't even funny.  But I did it and I am truly proud of myself.  I knew that my rebate from my new cell phone I got was going to be coming this week.  I know that my tax refund will be in my  bank account by Friday...yay $500!!!  THEN to top everything off I came home at lunch and my esthetician license had FINALLY come in along with my rebate check.  I have been fighting with the board of cosmetology for a good year over this stupid thing.  AND on Fridays check we get our profit sharing!!!  Can you see how this was, and dang it still is, going to be a great week?!?!?!  So I was so exciting about my esthetician license coming I went straight to the beauty supply store right after work!  Who doesn't get excited about getting new shampoo?  

I came home and fixed something to eat and sat down to watch TV before I started working on my very last speech for Carnegie.  Who knew that was going to throw a kink in things for the rest of the night.  I started watching a show that hit way to close to home.   I couldn't stop watching because I had to see how it ended...honestly because I want to know how this is going to end.  I was pissed, hurt, angry, sad, confused, mad, defensive, and just a huge wave of every other emotion that I can't think of right now.  I am fine...I really am but occasionally this comes back up again.  I want to know how to shove it back away!  I don't deal with things I just see how far I can push it, or them, away from me at that very moment.  Then it goes away and  things are fine again.  But I have been sick to my stomach all over again over this stupid thing.  It's amazing how a single memory can take over.  

I really have to stop thinking and go work on my speech.  Tomorrow is going to be an AWESOME day!!!  I'll be a Carnegie graduate in less than 24 hours!  YAY!!!!

HONEST SCRAP

So I JUST realized that the name of that last post was supposed to be the HONEST SCRAP! I did that whole post and couldn't understand what an honest strap was and why it would be called that. I just wanted everyone to know that I'm a little special....IF you didn't already know that! :)

Honest Strap

So I'm new to this whole blogging thing and I was honored with the honest strap today by Kristine.  Ok and you should really be proud that I was able to make Kristine's name a link!  I really hope it worked after calling myself out like that!  I have to let everyone, especially Jennifer because she's been giving me a hard time for not doing her tag.  The reason  I didn't do hers is because my computer crashed with all my pictures on it.  So I don't have many on this one.  That's why I didn't do hers!  

OK so the rules to this "Honest Strap" are....

1. Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. (so I might have a hard time with that because Kristine tagged almost every one's blogs that I read.  I'll try and find a few.)

2. Show the 7 (or however many I can find) winners' names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Strap." 

3. Finally, list at least 10 things about yourself

So here are my 10 things......

1. I HATE CHEWING GUM!!! I know that isn't a surprise to most of you.  I just feel I should let everyone else be aware of this.  I have a serious problem with gum!  I cringe when I see someone pull out a piece of gum to put in their mouth.  When I hear someone popping their gum, or just hearing them chew it, makes my skin crawl.  I don't know when this happened because I haven't always been like this.  Maybe its happened with age.  I can remember when I was little and I was chewing gum my mom would always yell at me about popping it or to keep it in my mouth.  So, PLEASE, all I ask is don't chew gum around me.  It makes me seriously angry and know I don't want to be this way!

2. I try to make every single song that I love somehow relate to me.  It doesn't matter what it's about I can somehow make it about me!  Whether it's "Brown Eyed Girl" (obviously) or "There You Go" by Pink.  I can turn it into my situation.

3. I love to have concerts in my car!  The concerts can only happen when I'm driving at night!  I take those songs and sing my heart! I love driving to Allison's at night and doing this!  It's a bonus if it's nice outside and I can roll the windows down.

4.  As I have gotten older I have gotten more emotional.  A few of us were talking about this at Carnegie the other night.  I remember making so much fun of my mom when I was little when she would cry at the dumbest stuff.  I completely understand now!  Someone singing the National Anthem, a commercial, a birth scene in a movie, it doesn't matter....I cry! I was watching Grey's Anatomy tonight, well not really watching it but it was on.  I didn't even know what the story line was but I caught myself bawling at the end!  Now I know why I don't like watching that show anymore.  I cry at the end of every single episode that I watch!

5. I have a fear of not getting married and having children.  I'm perfectly content where I am but it's still an underlying fear.  I want children more than anything in this world!  I have watched 3 of my best friends give birth to 4 children (total) and I want to experience that!  Don't get me wrong it is SO nice to spoil the crap out of them and then send them home!  But I want to have the feeling of MY baby growing inside of me and having the uncontrollable excitement of meeting that baby for the first time.  Geez, see I'm tearing up now!  Moving on....

6. Children that are neglected makes me very upset!  I wanted to be a social worker for the longest time.  It might still be in the back of my head a little bit but then I think about going back to school and it goes away really fast.  I would save ever child out there if I could!  I would be a foster parent right now if my roomies (my grandparents) would let me.  :)  I should probably wait until I have my own place! Everyone says that they couldn't do it because it would be too hard to let them go.  But you have to think about how you're helping them at that very moment and that you're taking them out of a bad situation.  I would do it in a heartbeat!

7. I have a new addiction to tetris!  Yup, you're probably thinking that's really a dumb "honest" thing to tell you.  But it is becoming a problem!  If I'm not playing it, I'm playing it in my head!  I didn't go to bed last night until 1am because I couldn't stop playing.  I completely blame this new addiction on Allison.  She got her husband Michael a wii for Christmas and they bought tetris for it.  Now you have to understand I have never liked tetris at all!  I started playing  it at her house and I can't stop now!  It is a problem!

8.  I have really really bad road rage!  I do think this one has gotten a little bit better but it's for sure still there!  I yell at just about every car that does something stupid!  

9. I LOVE NAPS!  That's all I can really say about that! I can't sleep at all at night but let me lay down anytime during the day and I'm out!  If I could take a nap everyday I think I would be a much happier person....not that I'm not happy I'm just saying!

10. I over analyze EVERYTHING!  Whether it's how someone texts me back or doesn't text me back.  I working at that one at this very minute!  And it was a sweet text!  I take it back if you're reading this....nah I don't...I really do miss you!!!!  I can make it the absolute worst situation there could be!  

Geez I thought that was going to be harder than it was!  Now it's your turn.......

The Mind!

Whoever said that the mind is a powerful thing has obviously never met mine! My mind is lethal! Have you ever had a dream that felt so real that you woke up mad at someone? I had a really rough night last night. To start with I had one of the worst migraines that I've had in a long time yesterday. So that meant that I had to drug myself up and I sleep all day. Since I slept all day I knew I would have a problem sleeping last night. That's always a really bad thing for me because my mind goes about 90 miles a minute. I have the ablity to get mad at someone just by playing something over and over in my head. I hate that I do that!
So last night I had the worst dreams! I dreamed I was in Florida and it was HORRIBLE! There were certain people that were so mean to me. I woke up this morning with my feelings hurt so bad and that's all I've been able to think about so far today. I know it was just a dream but it was SO real. Hopefully I'll get over this as the day goes on! :)

What Makes You Successful?

Well I know its been a few days since I blogged but I've been crazy busy!  Monday was pilate's, Tuesday was Carnegie, and then tonight some girlfriends and I went to Chili's for dinner then to see Bride Wars.  It was a super cute movie in case you're wondering!  Anyways on to what I really wanted to talk about....

Like I said a few posts ago (it had to only be a few because I think I've only blogged twice) we have a company wide devotion every Wednesday.  Today's speaker was awesome!  His name was Michael Easley and he's the new teaching pastor at Fellowship Bible.  Before coming to Fellowship he was the president of Moody Bible Institute in Chicago.  So he knows his stuff!  One of the things that stuck out to me was something he said at the very beginning of his talk.  It wasn't even the main point of what his talk was about.  But I guess it doesn't matter what you take away from a sermon it's just important that you take something away!  He asked the question "what makes someone successful"?  Is it getting married, having kids, making a lot of money, having the perfect car, and so on and so on.  And my first gut answer was getting married and having kids!  I thought about that question through the whole sermon.  I asked myself...do you not think you're successful right now?  You know I really do think I'm successful right now.  I have SO many things to be thankful for.  And just because I get married and have kids doesn't make me successful, now it may make the "future" husband be considered successful if he can put up with me.  I have the coolest, one of the most rewarding, awesomest :) job anyone could ever ask for!  I help people find hope in their lives every single day!  And if that's all I was here for then that's enough for me!

Then after seeing Bride Wars tonight made me realize that I've very blessed in another part of my life as well.  Short version of what the movie is about....best friends for 20 years both get engaged... things get messed up and they are both booked at the same day at the venue of where they have dreamed of having their weddings at for 20 years....one needs to move their date neither one wants to....big fight they don't talk.....blah blah blah!

At the end they obviously make up and things are picture perfect.  But Murphy Brown (I can never remember her real name) is doing like a talk over thing and said something that went back to this morning for me.  She said "you know everyone finds a soul mate. It may be in your spouse or it could be the person that has stood by you through everything and knows you better than you know yourself and still loves you".  I was like she's completely right!  

Allison and I have been best friends for 13 years now.  And holy cow have we been through some things!  High school, prom, first cars, wrecks :), youth trips, graduating and thinking "what the crap are we going to do with our lives", moving 12 hours away from home together, living in a one bedroom apartment together, her marrying the guy of her dreams, them moving back to TN without me, her flying back to FL to help me make a super hard emotional 12 hour drive moving back home to TN, her birthing the 2 most beautiful little nephews that I'll ever have.  There was also a lot of heartache thrown in there for me!  she was ALWAYS there for me through one of the hardest times in my life.  Well we were there for each other in that situation.  She doesn't always have the answers for me but she's ALWAYS there if I just need to vent about something.  So in the end I think that I am a much successful person because of my BFF Allison in my life!  And even if I haven't found my "husband" soul mate she will forever and always be my "BFF" soul mate!  Thanks for loving me even on those days that I'm unlovable....I know there have only been a slight few of those days! ;)

Things I've Learned in Life.....

A friend from work sent me the cutest email today.  It was about reminding us of appreciating what God has given us.  I loved all of them but there was one that stuck out to me the most.  I've learned....that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.  I thought about that for a really long time.  If God had given me half the dumb things who knows where I would be right now.  I for sure would have dated some serious horrible guys, probably married one of the horrible guys, a few kids, and the list goes on.  Even thinking back a few years ago I would never have thought that I would be as content with my life that I am now.  God has brought me so far and I couldn't be more thankful.  I have an incredible job, awesome friends, and a great family, who could ask for more?  A few of my other favorites from the email....

I've learned...that just one person saying to me, "You've made my day!" makes my day

I've learned....that everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile

I've learned....that to ignore the facts doesn't change the facts

Those are just a few but I really loved all of them.  

My First Post

Hey Guys, or just Allison because I know she'll read this.  I'm not really sure about anyone else.  I have started probably 2-3 different blogs in my life.  The reason is because I want to be a blogger SO bad but I have a problem thinking of things to blog about.  But since this is a brand new year I have decided to make "blogging" a New Year's resolution.  I have a lot of "New Year's resolutions" that I'll eventually get to on here!

One of the biggest goals that I am determined to accomplish this year is "finishing" a half marathon.  I put finishing in quotes because I don't really care if I have to crawl across the finish line, I'll finish it!  I am very blessed to work for a company that is constantly encouraging everyone to better themselves in ever area of their life.  Another thing that I'm really looking forward to is in February they always start a "Lampo Losers" competition.  It's a 12 week competition of weight loss and it's AWESOME!  Last year I lost about 30 pounds and sad to say that I gained about 10 pounds back.  But hey the good news is that I didn't gain all of it back!
I've been waiting for Dave to do his annual goal setting devotion.  I have been looking forward to this devotion for months now.  Oh in case you don't know we do a company wide devotion every single Wednesday together.  We have had so many diverse speakers come in and its awesome.  So Dave usually does a goal setting devotion for us the first week in January.  BUT it's looking like he's not going to do it.  So I'm going to have to motivate myself to get my goals in writing.  Here are a few that I'm for sure about.....

2009 Goals
~train and finish a half marathon

~workout on a regular basis and start to enjoy it (Chad just told me that "it's not the workout itself that you learn to love....it's the satisfaction you feel afterwards".  I'm going to have to constantly remind myself of that one!)

~do the Lampo Losers and kick some serious butt in it!

~get on a schedule with going to bed....I want to be able to stop taking meds to have to go to sleep.  I hate taking meds for it but if I didn't I seriously would stay up ALL night long.  And P.S. nobody likes me when I don't sleep.

~get on a schedule of cleaning my room every single Saturday.  I have a problem of not doing it for so long and then it's horrible!  So I figure if I do it every week it won't get out of control.

~start taking the stairs at work

~get involved in a small group (that almost happened this past October but they asked me at work to take Carnegie so I did that.  Carnegie is over in 3 weeks (YAY) so I want to try and get in the one I couldn't do.

~finishing Carnegie!  I do only have 3 more weeks but this has been a HUGE accomplishment for me.  I had no desire what so ever to do this class but I am thankful a million times over that I did it.  The one thing that I stressed myself out the most was that they give out awards every single week.  I was so scared that I wouldn't win one and I would have been so embarrassed. But good news I won my SECOND award last night!!!!

~PAY MY CAR OFF!!!  Then I will be completely DEBT FREE!  When that happens I can start saving to get my own place.  I don't want to move out of my grandparents until I am debt free and have a good amount of savings.  I'm very lucky that I'm able to live at home!  

~sponsor a child from another country (accomplished I just sent the info in on Monday)
~travel more- I do need someone to travel with...who wants to go with me???
~read more....well actually finish the books I start!  I have gotten in a really bad habit of this!


I know that there will be more added to this list in the next couple of days.  But at least this is a good start!  I'll keep praying that Dave will do the goals talk!!!  I am going to try my best with updating this.  If I'm slacking call me out!  I hope this didn't bore you guys to much!