Memories

How is it that one stupid single thing can change your mood?  I was seriously having the best day...even the best week ever!  Then bam I turn the TV on and everything changed!  I was so excited for this week!  I'm graduating from Carnegie tomorrow night.  And I really am so proud of myself for taking this class, not that I had a huge choice in it, and for actually doing good in it.  I've won two awards as of right now....you never know I might win one more.  This thing was SO far out of my comfort zone it wasn't even funny.  But I did it and I am truly proud of myself.  I knew that my rebate from my new cell phone I got was going to be coming this week.  I know that my tax refund will be in my  bank account by Friday...yay $500!!!  THEN to top everything off I came home at lunch and my esthetician license had FINALLY come in along with my rebate check.  I have been fighting with the board of cosmetology for a good year over this stupid thing.  AND on Fridays check we get our profit sharing!!!  Can you see how this was, and dang it still is, going to be a great week?!?!?!  So I was so exciting about my esthetician license coming I went straight to the beauty supply store right after work!  Who doesn't get excited about getting new shampoo?  

I came home and fixed something to eat and sat down to watch TV before I started working on my very last speech for Carnegie.  Who knew that was going to throw a kink in things for the rest of the night.  I started watching a show that hit way to close to home.   I couldn't stop watching because I had to see how it ended...honestly because I want to know how this is going to end.  I was pissed, hurt, angry, sad, confused, mad, defensive, and just a huge wave of every other emotion that I can't think of right now.  I am fine...I really am but occasionally this comes back up again.  I want to know how to shove it back away!  I don't deal with things I just see how far I can push it, or them, away from me at that very moment.  Then it goes away and  things are fine again.  But I have been sick to my stomach all over again over this stupid thing.  It's amazing how a single memory can take over.  

I really have to stop thinking and go work on my speech.  Tomorrow is going to be an AWESOME day!!!  I'll be a Carnegie graduate in less than 24 hours!  YAY!!!!