What If...

Well I achieved the one and only goal I had for this weekend....not to leave my house at all!  I think that was a good and a bad thing.  Good thing because I really needed to do nothing!  Bad thing because I had too much time with just me and my mind! :)  

One thing that I discovered is that I am sick and tired of letting other people determine my mood. If someone has hurt me or upset me I shouldn't let that get me so down.  But I do!  I had a really really rough week last week.  One of the many things that happened was that my step mother called just to "check in".   When she does that it pisses me off more than anyone could even understand.  Luckily I didn't answer the phone.  I sat there and listened to my grandmother talk to her.  I get mad because I feel like she's giving her too much information but I know she can't help it.  Then at one point Gran says...no she's not married yet.  SERIOUSLY they don't even know if I'm married!  That is so sad to me!   I would love for my dad to be a part of my life but that will NEVER happen until she is out of his.  I know someone that has their dad around can't understand anyone being so hard on their own father.  But I have "done" my life this far without him I don't need him now! 

So on our trip down to Florida Allison started watching "Friday Night Lights".  We really were only able to watch about 3 episodes of it.  But that was enough for me, I was hooked!  I had to come home and sign up for Netflix again.  That is ALL I have done this weekend!  It is a stupid show but it has really gotten me thinking about the what ifs of my life.  Some of them pretty dumb but still what if....I never went to Centennial my sophomore year (Allison and I would have probably never become friends) and the really big one that I haven't been able to stop thinking about....what if we had never moved to Florida?  Where would I be right now?  Would I be married and have kids? (probably not) Then I think about if I had stayed in Florida.  I can't even begin to think about that one because that makes my head hurt.  I don't know if I'm thinking about all this because this show is about high school and I wonder how things would be if I had done it all different.  I don't think I would change anything....I'm lying I do think I would change things.  I've had way too many relationships that are one sided.  Me being the one that is constantly trying to work on things.  I lost one of my very best friends this way because I was sick of being on a one way street! It's not fair for one person to be doing all the work.  And sad to say I'm always that person! Relationships aren't easy!  I don't care if it's a boyfriend or girlfriend, a husband or wife, or a REALLY good friend.  They're all hard work!  And it's not fair for only one person to be working at it!  I pray I don't lose anymore friends this way but I'm not doing it anymore.  

BLAH!  With all that being said I'm ready to go back to work tomorrow!  At least that gives me a lot of distractions!   

SO BUSY!!!

So did you guys think I was never going to update this thing again?  Well I have thought about it everyday since I got back from Florida.  So much has been going on!  Let's see if I can remember everything.....

Florida was a BLAST!  It was so good just to get away from normal life for awhile!  We went to the beach a few days and the boys loved it!  Allison and I went to see Britney Spears and it was AWESOME!!!  I splurged and got really really good seats and I'm so glad I did!  We went to Disney World one day!  So much fun!!! Hung out with Allison's family alot, pretty much they're my family too!  I was able to go to one of Logan's games....I say go because as soon as we got there they pulled him out of the game because they were killing the other team.  So I didn't actually get to see him play but it was alot of fun hanging with the Dan's.  One night we got together with a bunch of our friends for dinner.  The whole thing was awesome awesome awesome!  I really miss living there!

So this past Friday I went over to Allison's for the weekend.  On Friday I met her, the boys, Anna, Brooke, and Aiden over in Gatlinburg and spent the night.  Our plan was to get up and go to one of the indoor water parks there.  Well we did but only for about an hour because it was FREEZING!  The water was super warm but the air was so cold.  The boys lips were blue they were so cold.  So Allison got our money back and we went to the outlet mall.  More my speed anyway!  Friday afternoon we went back to Kingsport and hung out the rest of the weekend.  

Now it's Monday.... I can't believe that its only been a week since we got back from Florida!  It feels like it was atleast a month ago!  Well gotta go to bed because I'm still trying to catch up on my sleep!  Here on some pictures from Florida.....

FLORIDA!

I have been waiting for this day for WEEKS! I can't believe it's finally here! My bags are packed and loaded in the car. I'm just waiting for 4:30 so I can get on the road! I'm meeting Allison, Anna, and the boys in Chattanooga. Then it's straight to Bradenton!!! Holy cow I think this is going to be the longest day ever! I'll try and update...if I have time! :) I hope I come home.....

The Hair

OK so I was BEYOND excited about getting my hair cut today.  Then about 30 minutes before my appointment I decided I was going to go completely crazy and go dark again with my crazy cute cut.  WELL it's a good thing I decided to go dark because that's about the only difference.  I'm so mad!  I wanted it to be alot shorter than it is!  Oh well there's nothing I can really do now.  It's still cute just not what I wanted!  I love the color so I'm really glad I decided to do that.  

I'm getting ready to leave for Florida on Friday for 8 whole days!!!  You know when you get to that point and you say I need a vacation?  I was there about a month ago.  I did go down to Florida about a month ago but that was just for the weekend.  It flew by!  So I'm really looking forward to being down there for longer than 2 days.  We have alot of fun stuff already planned...BRITNEY SPEARS on Sunday, Disney on Tuesday, and we're going to see our good friend Melanie in a play on Wednesday night.  You can make fun of me for my love for Britney Spears and that's ok because I can take it.  I'm a fan till the end and I love her! 

I'm not looking forward to our drive down to Florida.  It's going to be 10 hours in a car with a 2 and 3 year old.  Holy Cow!  I offered to read Twilight to Allison all the way down there.  She said no...why not....I don't get it?  :)  I'm super excited to be with Evan and Noah for awhile too.  They seriously crack me up!  But I also joke and say that being around them is BY FAR the best birth control out there.  Not that I'm looking for a good birth control but you know what I mean.  

Well I'm going to go to bed.  I feel like I'm getting a sore throat and there will be none of that.  Got it!

My BFF

I just want to see if I could put a picture on here!  Now I know I can so I'm going to be adding them ALL the time!  I'll put up a for real post later on in the day, since it is 4am.  I hate insomnia!  Thanks to everyone that gave me their opinion on my hair.  I go on Tuesday so I'll let you know. NO I'll post a picture of it!  Genius!